Update/Moving On

 “It’s a wonderful world. You can’t go backwards. You’re always moving forward. It’s the wonderful part about life. And that’s terrific

Harvey Feirstein

Well hello my lovely people! It’s been a minute eh? First off I am sorry for the ridiculous long break I took away from the blog…..to be honest I was recovering and I wasn’t really feeling in the blogging mood if I am being 100% honest with you alll! 🙂

But I am back, I am not back to my normal self just yet, but I am so much better than I was. So let’s do a little recap/update first before I jump into popping more blogs onto the page eh?

As you will know, back in 2019 I was assaulted by a resident in the care home I was working in at the time (I won’t know the care home even though I REALLY WANT TO!). That assault led to a series of events, which ultimately left me being off sick for nearly two years. The resident in question had punched my shoulder three times resulting in some serious damage being done. Now at the time, it was during the pandemic, so everything was slowed down, which resulted in me not getting to see my GP quick enough and treatment being delayed. Eventually, I did see my GP who gave me a steroid shot, however at that stage it was useless, as the injury had gone too far by then.

I was referred to the pain management team who I have to say were excellent. They helped a lot with the increase in pain I was experiencing and the decrease in my mental health as by this stage I was starting to suffer from night terrors etc. I was unable to sleep at night because when I did I would see his face and it would scare me.

Throughout all of this ordeal, I was having to deal with my workplace on a near monthly basis. They made me feel like it was my fault. I had numerous meetings with them where I would explain exactly what was going on, and be met with question after question. it was horrific. It’s probably worth noting that from my first day of being off sick I was not being paid by my employer, as care workers, despite the work that they do, and the hours they spend looking after the most vulnerable people in our society, do not get paid sick pay if you work in the private sector. So I was having to rely on benefits at this particular time. I was eventually dismissed on medical grounds in December 2021.

Fast forward to October 2022, I am still not working. I am still trying to get my shoulder back to it’s former self, although I have been told that it will never be the same, it will be a life long condition, albeit one that I can get to a point where I can actually work with. I am now in a position where I have a concern that my LP shunt which I have had for a number of years may have been damaged in the attack as when I walk for any period of time, I get really bad lower back pain, coupled with an increase in headaches, so it’s off to the GP for me on Friday to get checked out. I was jolted and pushed against a bunker in the assault so it might well be the case that my back was damaged at I never realised it at the time because my shoulder was the priority! I still have some mental health issues from the assault, I’m not going to lie. I have trouble sleeping and I have this innate feeling of guilt that I am not able to work.

However, I have made some positive steps to get my life back on track. I have signed up for a course with Fairstart Scotland with the aim of helping me to get back into the workforce (anything but care work!), I will be starting to do my radio show again soon, I am starting this blog again (after this update post obviously), I have a better set up in our new flat so I am doing a lot more craft and weirdly I am reading a lot more!

I have overcome a hell of a lot in my life, from abuse, to serious illness and I am still standing. I cannot and will not let this beat me.

Until next time

Take care and stay safe

A xx